Today’s blog is about perseverance. Today’s blog is about not giving up when you’re so damn frustrated you could scream. Today’s blog is about the friends who keep you from hitting send when you REALLY want to.

 

Becoming a writer has got to be one of the most frustrating experiences I’ve ever embarked on. The lows are so frequent in the beginning, it’s really hard to find the energy to keep going. Even when you climb over a personal triumph, the challenges still remain. They never end.

 

So what keeps me going?

 

Honestly, I have no idea. Well, there’s the desire not to have my snazzy little Macbook go to waste. I feel like I have to get published simply because my DH bought me a macbook prior to our deploying.

 

But that’s not really it. I’ve set this goal in my head (something to the effect of amounting to something in my life) and I’ve equated my future happiness with hitting the New York Times (hopefully, this will still be relevant in the amount of time its going to take me to get published, let alone make the list and hey, doesn’t every author dream of hitting the Time?).

 

No the real reason I keep going is because I HAVE set a goal to sell a book and see it in print. It doesn’t necessarily matter that I’ve told the world that I’m a writer. In my mind, I’m not yet because I still haven’t sold. And that hangs over my head like a ginormous blinking neon sign that says failure.

 

I’ve finished a book. I’ve actually written like 10 books if you count the rewrites (which, truth be told, were completely new books at the end of it all). As I wait for my turn, I keep writing. I can’t NOT write. I get insomnia, I get up and sit on the keyboard, editing, changing, WRITING. The ideas keep coming, too. It’s as though I’ve created a crack in the wall and more ideas are coming faster than I can write.

 

So I’m going to keep getting after it, simply because I’ve set this goal for myself. I like writing. I like revisions, though I could probably use some good direction on that point, but I love seeing the raw idea take shape into something readable. I don’t like rejection (honestly, who does) but I try to use it to get better. What can I change? What am I not seeing? What still needs work?

 

I keep getting after it because I set a goal and I don’t give up. Really. I don’t. I might feel like it. I might take a knee every so often because the weight of keeping after it when you’re the only one who believes in what you’re doing can be really f**ng heavy sometimes. And maybe I still need a boatload more work. But I’ll keep getting after it because I’ve had people tell me I suck before and I kept going after it. I didn’t quit the basketball team in high school (though in that case, I probably should have, I really did suck at sports). Everyone told me to just give up but I didn’t. Worth it? I have no idea, except that I set a goal and I had too much pride to quit.

 

It’s hard getting up and seeing an empty inbox. It’s hard getting up and waiting for the call. But the tiny boosts that come along the way, from the people who help prop you up when you really want to lie down, make it worth it.

 

And I set a goal. It’s either give up or keep getting after it.

 

If it’s all the same, I’ll keep getting after it.