I Am Not A Slut

I took a brief hiatus from twitter/facebook over the last weekend because the rhetoric was getting my blood pressure up and well, to spare the people around me endless rants about the stupidity in our national dialogue, I had to turn it off.

The rhetoric has gotten out of control. The extreme rhetoric that says a woman should just put an aspirin between her knees to keep from getting pregnant, or that proposes a bill in the Senate allowing employers to decide not to cover medical issues they deem immoral or the fact that a group of middle aged men have returned to an era where they get to tell me what to do with my body: I’m a little pissed.

I am a 35 year old married mother of 2, an Army officer who has deployed and I use birth control to be a good soldier and a responsible parent.

I use birth control to stop having my period so that I can go to the field and not worry about it.

I use birth control while deployed with my husband to keep from getting pregnant and getting sent home and letting down all the men AND women on my team.

I use birth control to keep from having more children than we can afford.

I use birth control to enable me to be a good soldier and balance my career and my family.

I use birth control to control the relentless cramps I had as teenager that had me in so much pain I could not walk.

I use birth control to control when I have children so that I can be more than the sum of my uterus.

I use birth control provided by the government to allow me to be a good soldier and a responsible parent and a responsible citizen.

I use government provided birth control while deployed to Iraq because it was my turn to go.

Call me a slut because I was fortunate enough to be deployed with my husband and I spent the entire deployment terrified I would get pregnant and sent home.

By all means, call me a slut. Call me a whore who expects the government to pay for my birth control so that I can abdicate my responsibilities as a parent. Call me a feminazi for forsaking my duties as a mother and using birth control so that I did not get pregnant again and miss the deployment. Call me a slut for wanting something more for myself and my daughters than to be someone’s breeder. By all means, call me a whore for wanting my daughters to be able to fulfill their potential by being able to decide when they want to start a family.

Calling me and every woman who chooses when to have children a slut will not change the fact that we are responsible citizens who opt to plan their families, who opt to take responsibility for their lives as women and members of our society. And yes, call me a whore because I still expect Tricare to cover my birth control and my pap smear and my government mandated annual std exam.

There are other things I would prefer to be called. You may call me many things but that does not negate the things I call myself.

You could call me a Mom, because I have two beautiful daughters who I want to grow up knowing their full potential is between their ears, not their legs. You could call me Soldier, because I love wearing my nation’s uniform and it is an honor to serve. You could call me Author, because I managed to write a book that people read. You could call me a Wife, because I’ve been with the same man for fifteen years. You could call me a Friend because I’m there, for laughs or for tears. Any of those things define me so much better than the singular hatred of calling me a slut because I use birth control.

But go ahead. Call me a slut. It doesn’t make me one.

120 comments for “I Am Not A Slut

  1. Kaia
    May 7, 2012 at 12:55 pm

    Call you eloquent, logical & persuasive is what I'd say. Your husband and daughters are lucky to have you – as is our country & anyone who just read this blog. Hell yeah.

  2. Angela McAlister
    March 15, 2012 at 12:39 pm

    Thank you for the articulating a strong and reasonable position!

    What I read between the thousands line of rhetoric is something birth control controllers are not saying out loud . They are saying that women who have intercourse and are not it in for the possibility of bringing a baby into the world are whores. I too am a mother, wife, business woman and (horror of horrors) proponent of birth control. I have two nearly grown daughters yet am still fertile even though I am in my 50's. Ahhh this necessitates birth control if I am to avoid a very risky preganancy. However I certainly do not want to be a whore or a slut (horrors again!), nor does my husband want to be married to one. Such a conundrum. There is only one solution – self control and an asprin between my knees. Therefore my dearest husband get ready for a life a marital celebacy. Your wife's honor is at stake here!

  3. D.Danner
    March 9, 2012 at 3:20 pm

    What a wonderful post. Your personalization of this issue really demonstrates how mean and vile Rush Limbaugh's diatribe was. Thanks so much for sharing your personal thoughts on this. I can think of many things to call you, but the first word that comes to me after reading your article is "Wise."

  4. co2ct
    March 9, 2012 at 2:35 pm

    You work for the government and as a member of our military you deserve much more than the average person or the perpetual student on scholarship looking for her conveniences to be paid for. Aren't you more appalled and outraged by this administration upping your medical costs while granting waivers to the thousands of other groups?

    So let me say thank you for your service to this country. But I have to ask where in this debate did someone say you couldn't have access to birth control? Birth control remains extremely available but as with many other health issues where the drug or procedure offered will make life easier, there is a cost involved. Birth control is not and should not be among the ever growing lists of entitlements. Take your birth control and remain a strong independent woman but don't expect anyone else to pay for your convenience.

  5. Patrick
    March 9, 2012 at 9:31 am

    Your are absolutely right in that you should be 100% free to make decisions about your life and body, and if that includes taking birth control it is nobody's business….especially not the goverments! I'm just not sure why I as a taxpayer have to pay for it? Makes perfect since of why the governemnt issues it for the great women in service as you your example illustrated so don't get me wrong I apprecaite your efforts and dedication to serving this country. I just think it falls short to expect me to pay for the method in which you and your husband plan your family.

  6. shatz1
    March 8, 2012 at 6:48 am

    We can only hope that Rush is well aware of the birth control devices the sluts he sleeps with use. What this world doesn't need are any more of that genotype.

  7. March 6, 2012 at 5:19 pm

    Woo Hoo! THANKS

  8. military might
    March 6, 2012 at 4:29 pm

    You are a cowardly, spineless baby killer that's promoting death. What a FREAK!!! I'm going to find where you're deployed and talk to your company commander. Although, i think my search will be in vain because I doubt you're in the military. Just another deadbeat liberal liar.

  9. Alexander
    March 6, 2012 at 4:04 pm

    Yeah the guy was wrong and went a bit far and he knows it but I think people still missed the point he was trying to make that Fluke goes to a religious institution which is exempt from providing contraception and she wants the insurance company to pay for it. Obama says no problem, if the religious institution wants to be exempt then the insurance company will provide it free of charge. Well who is going to foot the bill for the insurance company providing it free because they won't without being paid? So one of 2 things happen, either the taxpayer pays or premiums go up. Obama insists premiums go down under his plan even though they went up and keep going up as mine have so who ends up paying? If the taxpayer doesn't then you do through jacked up premiums.

    No, nobody should be considered a slut for simply using birth control and it wasn't what the guy was insinuating, just basically in this specific case wanting the insurance companies to pay for it is going to end up with the taxpayer footing the bill because nothing is free. It's not about simply using it but about wanting the taxpayer to pay for the choice of using it for non-medical reasons because under Barry Obama's proposal, that's what will happen.

    Anyone angry at Rush should be lambasting the Democrats in Congress who approve of this behavior when it's one of their own then act like it's madness when it comes from the other side of the isle including Obama. The rhetoric will never end as long as womens rights groups have double standards regarding who to stand up for.

    Thank you for your service too.

  10. Eugene Staten
    March 6, 2012 at 3:19 pm

    A man's sole responsibility is to wear a rubber or get a vasectomy. A woman's sole responsibility is not allowing a baby into her vagina.

    If I were to ask any woman posting here, "How many men do you sleep with?" All of you would respond, "Its none of your business."

    And this would be correct, it is none of my business but when it comes to paying for your own personal business, you want to make it all of our business where our pockets are concerned.

    If any woman wants the pill they should use their own money and buy them.

    I know this also helps with fibrosis and indo-metriosis and these make BC truely medical. But for the 10 out of 100 women who have unbearable cramps and other illnesses, the remaining 90 want free or cheap drugs of a nature that would never fly as a legitimate medicine.

    There is no medical significance here. The pill does not cure cancer.

    This debate, at its core, is about certain people thinking the whole world owes them something extra special simply because they have breasts.

  11. Grandma Carol
    March 6, 2012 at 2:37 pm

    Jessica, you are a terrific role model for your children and every American woman. Your children are also planned and wanted children – you cannot give them a better gift. When I was teaching school, on several occasions I had to turn in to the child abuse hotline, parents and a grandparent who had children in their care and did not want the child. It always made me sick to my stomach to sit with a child and a police officer investigating the case.

  12. March 6, 2012 at 1:37 pm

    brava, ma'am…and thank you! #thatisall

  13. March 6, 2012 at 11:54 am

    Well said!!!!

  14. KHB
    March 6, 2012 at 9:55 am

    I really enjoyed your article and thank you for heading this conversation that is frankly way over due. Women's issues seem to always be caught at the end of someones political agenda. I was raised Catholic and apparently I am not a very good one because I am appalled that as with most organized religion we are taught that birth control is a sin yet condoms are readily available for "homosexual" men to prevent the spread of disease. I am not homophobic just using this insane example. As a society we need to stop worrying about touchy subjects and teach our children about choices no matter what your affiliation is. The fact is, schools should not be the first, and last place your child hears about Birth control. Do the math, many young women from Catholics to Mormons, etc… are taught this breeder mentality, you TRY to abstain, marry young and procreate while young men are taught to provide for a brood of children. Seems very archaic. I am not a slut, I was the youngest of 4 girls and my mother had to learn by trial and error. Women (and men) care about your bodies and lives and remember you have choices.

  15. Cathy Bettoney
    March 6, 2012 at 9:42 am

    Yeah, I used birth control when I was a teenager to alleviate those cramps that kept me home and in bed, in agony. For the couple of months my ob-gyn chose to prescribe them. And then he got scared when I mentioned "these are just like birth control pills" and wouldn't prescribe them any more. This was 50 years ago in Massachusetts. So I was condemned to spend one day a month unable to go to class or work until I got married ten years later.
    There are 6.5 million of us in the same boat.

  16. Patricia
    March 6, 2012 at 8:53 am

    Hi Jessica,
    I admire you for what you do and what you wrote.
    God bless you!

  17. A Former LT
    March 6, 2012 at 7:38 am

    I can hear you ranting this in the office while everyone stands there and listens. Oh how I miss those rants sometimes.

  18. Lesley Kinney
    March 5, 2012 at 11:07 pm

    Beautifully and eloquently put. The Catholic thing is hilarious, I am a Catholic and every Catholic woman I know has taken the pill at some time in their life. I don’t drink or smoke but presumably my Health Insurance premiums are increased because of treating those that do!

  19. Dennis Hanson
    March 5, 2012 at 11:06 pm

    You have shown more guts and responsability in the way that you handled this issue. I support your efforts, and I wish you and your husband a safe return. I served in Vietnam, and even though I am male, I support you in every way I can. Thanks for your service, and best wish for you and your family.

  20. Grace
    March 5, 2012 at 10:04 pm

    You are not a slut. You sound exactly like me, a responsible parent.

    However, the talk on this issue has nothing to do with your choice to use birth control, or taking away your freedom to use it, or for that matter, labeling anyone as a slut for taking the pill.

    Birth control pills are free to anyone who knows where to go to get them….Planned Parenthood, college infirmaries, or through medicaid. All insurance companies cover them. My insurance co-pay is 0.

    The media has blown it totally out of proportion! They want you to think conservatives want to take that right away from you. Not true. This all started with "Fluke" who stated that she was having so much sex that she needed free birth control while attending a Catholic university. Well, she has a choice to change colleges or seek her pills from Planned Parenthood or use her insurance.

    It is an ingenious ploy by the Obama campaign to get the attention off of the separation of church and state and put it on womens' rights. Don't fall for it. We have a free country and no one is calling you a slut for being a responsible parent.

  21. March 5, 2012 at 9:41 pm

    Brava. For being a responsible human, a thinking woman, a great mother and for serving your country. You have my absolute admiration.

  22. Barbara
    March 5, 2012 at 9:20 pm

    I don't know you, Jessica, but I'm so impressed with your eloquence and sanity, that I had to post a comment. Thank you for your service to our country. Be well.

  23. Lisa K.
    March 5, 2012 at 8:30 pm

    Well said! Very proud of how you handled all the crap thrown your way.

  24. March 5, 2012 at 4:53 pm

    You have articulated what is so wrong with what has been said so far–no one should be ashamed to have control of their body or their medical needs. No one.

  25. Marla
    March 5, 2012 at 2:55 pm

    Jessica,
    I admire what you are doing and how eloquently you speak for women.
    I'm a military wife, and even though we chose to have a large family, I support my daughters who have chosen to have far fewer children, and the one who has chosen to remain childless.
    My youngest daughter is also a military wife, and suffers from endometriosis. I am thankful that she has government medical care and easy access to the treatment that she needs.

    There is also a push to get Rush off of the Armed Forces Radio.
    Here's the link to the petition: https://wwws.whitehouse.gov/petitions/!/petition/

    I've seen the harm that this can do. My daughter married an Airman. He returned from a deployment in Afghanistan spouting right-wing talking points. My husband, a Lieutenant Colonel and a Liberal, is furious. We must not allow the right-wing agenda to continue to be blasted out on young American's radios overseas.

  26. Dawn
    March 5, 2012 at 12:50 pm

    As a proud mother of five beautiful children, I take offense to your post. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, but I think everyone is completely missing the point on this issue. You have all gotten so agitated and defensive over the words "birth control" that you've completely forgotten about the fact that this is about the law forcing those with religious beliefs to do something that they feel is morally wrong. For the record, each of my children is loved, well-cared-for, wanted, and believe it or not, they were PLANNED. *gasp* Yes, it is also possible and quite easy to avoid pregnancy without artificial means. It just takes a bit of self-control. At any rate, I promise not to call you a slut if you don't call me a breeder. As a sidebar – I encourage you all to take a look at the chemicals that are in hormonal birth control. If you realized what exactly you were putting in your/your wives' bodies, you might think twice! Thanks for letting me speak my piece.

  27. Vincent Shapanus
    March 5, 2012 at 12:46 pm

    Jessica your article really puts things into perspective. Salute!

  28. Patrick lennon
    March 5, 2012 at 12:15 pm

    I salute your service and I fully support your right to use birthcontroll. It's your right to choose to or not to have a child. Those loud mouth ignorant people don't realize the bc pills do more than prevent pregnancy. Or they do realize that and are just not happy unless they are up in other peoples personal
    Lives.

  29. March 5, 2012 at 9:45 am

    Thank you! And for taking the time to write this and post it. We women have to SPEAK out NOW and in November. Anyone who thought they can control what I do with my body,life,decisions is NOT getting my vote. I am so disappointed in the men in Washington who have supported this againist women, Birth Control!! what about insurance that pays for Cilais or other male sex help pills, NO SEX guys, if we have no birth control.

  30. mantha16
    March 5, 2012 at 3:48 am

    I have a different perspective as I live in a country with a comprehensive welfare system (UK)and we have free healthcare (though not actually free since we pay national insurance to fund the nhs) If you are not working you also get free dental treatment, glasses, pescriptions though if you earn enough you have to pay for those things yourself but even if you earn a decent wage birth control is free. The government obviously believe preventing unwanted pregnancy is less of a burden on the state than free birth control. As much as I love America and Americans sometimes I am very very glad I don’t live there usually this happens anytime ppl like rush limbaugh open their mouths. Yeah cos old men get to tell women what they can and can’t do with their bodies. Well if thats how it works I insist rick santorum et al must have vasectomys for the good of civilisation.

    As for people who have a problem with Jessica’s choices I say shut up sit down, exactly how does her choice impact your life?? thats right it doesn’t so judge ye not lest ye be judged.

  31. Holly Kentworth
    March 5, 2012 at 3:47 am

    Thank you. You are….wonderful!

  32. jay
    March 5, 2012 at 12:04 am

    Well done! Your entire posting should be run as a letter to the editor in every newspaper in the county. Rush has the biggest following in talk radio. Very scary.

  33. julesjustwrite
    March 4, 2012 at 10:58 pm

    Kudos. Thank you for eloquently putting into words my exact thoughts, when my head just wants to explode from the insanity of it all.

  34. March 4, 2012 at 10:38 pm

    Not sure why the previous comment didn't appear (please delete!), but I said that I support you 100%. Thank you for standing up to this hateful excuse for a human being.

  35. March 4, 2012 at 10:36 pm

    Oh hell yes, Jessica. I'm with you 100%. Stand up to the swine.

  36. March 4, 2012 at 10:14 pm

    Well said. I have 6 children, not all from my womb, with one on the way and I chose to have all of them. I also choose not to have any more. I am not ignorant. I am not a slut. It's called choice and every woman should have that right.

  37. Bronislawa Blumschaefter
    March 4, 2012 at 9:22 pm

    your reasons are all sound, logical and decent – but so what if they weren’t? Whose business is that, when you are taking care NOT to make it anyone’s business but yours, your husband’s and maybe your doctor’s? Your reasons for using birth control are all perfectly reasonable; the suggestion that you or any other woman, in 2012, should be called on to defend them, is unspeakable.

  38. Wookiesgirl
    March 4, 2012 at 9:03 pm

    You are a strong and wonderful woman!

  39. The Nudnik
    March 4, 2012 at 5:55 pm

    RIGHT ON!

    Thanks to you and to your husband for your service. Also, thanks to your children for sharing their parents.

  40. The Nudnik
    March 4, 2012 at 5:53 pm

    RIGHT ON!

    Also, thanks to you and to your husband for your service to our country. And to your children for sharing their parents.

  41. Bill
    March 4, 2012 at 3:47 pm

    Did you ask the Catholic to pay for it? That’s the issue.

    • Sarah
      March 5, 2012 at 8:08 pm

      Bill, the United States Government is Jessica's employer, NOT the Catholic Church, and it is the government who, rightly, pays for her birth control. Let me guess, you're one of those "God and Country" types; supporting our troops in the abstract, talking smack about them behind their backs. Classy, Bill. You and "J.Q. Public" are rotten peas in a pod. Disgusting.

  42. Melissa
    March 4, 2012 at 9:58 am

    Thank you for a powerful post, and for serving our country.

  43. Alex
    March 4, 2012 at 7:57 am

    An excellent article! However, not one mention of who is pushing all this: the Republicans, the GOP. Rush Limbaugh, Rick Santorum, Mitt Romney, senators, congressmen, and countless state legislators. Hold them accountable. (My brother served 2 tours of duty in Afghanistan and 1 tour of duty in Iraq; his son served 1 tour in Afghanistan and 3 in Iraq; and the son’s wife served an equal number in Iraq.)

  44. Heidi
    March 4, 2012 at 7:10 am

    Thank you! It is better to use birth control than to bring children to the world that you cannot take care of.

  45. Steve Withers
    March 4, 2012 at 4:50 am

    I can't believe any sane person would vote the idiots saying this stuff. Is this the fundy churches filling people's heads with garbage? What is it? Why are there now SO MANY crazy people around?

  46. Dr. Dan
    March 4, 2012 at 4:01 am

    I call you a heroine!

  47. Npn
    March 4, 2012 at 3:43 am

    Did you know Rush's show is on Armed Forces Radio paid for by taxpayers?

    I CANNOT IMAGINE having his hatred to women piped into my workplace~! Please write your Congresswoman/man, your Senator and to the Dept of Defense. Time to stop Rush from polluting the military thank you.

    American Forces Network
    Contact Us: http://myafn.dodmedia.osd.mil/email.aspx

  48. sabreen60
    March 3, 2012 at 11:12 pm

    I am well past the age of needing birth control. But I thought we had this fight and won it decades ago. Why is it necessary for women of my age to have to watch their daughters and granddaughters subjected to the BS, AGAIN?? ENOUGH?? If we need to take it to the streets, I say bring in on. Their will be plenty of old broads like me standing with you young women. Talk about being pissed. We are fighting the same wars we fought 50-60 years ago. Unfreakingbelievable.

  49. isonprize
    March 3, 2012 at 10:41 pm

    Just dropping a line to convey my support of you and your work. Your article about being called a slut reminds me of something my mother used to tell me. She was raised in apartheid Alabama. "It's not what people call you, it's what you answer to."

    Thank you and your husband for your service to the United States of America. Flaws and all, it's a wonderful country. We have all got to vote so that we can keep our country free.

  50. Charlie Hall
    March 3, 2012 at 10:29 pm

    Thank you for your service to our country. And thank you for writing this.

  51. Carol Perry
    March 3, 2012 at 9:28 pm

    Perfectly stated!!!! Thank You for being a responsible woman, mother,and most of all, Thank You for serving our country!!!!!!! Fact: there are many women out there who have earned the title of whore, or slut, but that is not you for sure!!!! STAY STRONG!!!!!

  52. Anne Onn
    March 3, 2012 at 9:12 pm

    JQ Public, the only reason the government pays for Jessicas BC is because she is in the military. Do you have a problem with that? No one is asking the Taxpayer to pay for the general public’s BC! That is a false story the right is spewing. It’s the insurers who would be paying. And most of the insurers are okay with that, since it’s cheaper than pregnancy. Please get your facts before you spew.

    And Jessica, you are not a slut — you sound like a wonderful mother, wife, friend, soldier. Carry on.

  53. evelyn
    March 3, 2012 at 8:43 pm

    Once upon a time, our church priest told my parents that it didn't matter that the dr said she shouldn't get pregnant again (she had had a couple of miscarriages after my brother), she couldn't as a good catholic, use birth control. They went to Planned Parenthood and she had her tubes tied. Yay, same thing, but there wasn't going to be any accidents if they could help it.

  54. March 3, 2012 at 8:42 pm

    Powerful and real. Amen!

  55. pegleeco@gmail.com
    March 3, 2012 at 8:28 pm

    You are just a fantastic writer and I couldn't have said one thing to top your piece.Thank you for your clarity and your bravery and you lovely strong woman style. I am looking for your book online after thie post! Bravo!!!!

  56. March 3, 2012 at 7:42 pm

    Well said, Ms. Scott. Thank you for your service! :-)

  57. Maude Allen
    March 3, 2012 at 5:06 pm

    All I can add is AMEN! Well said.

  58. Amanda Ching
    March 3, 2012 at 2:38 pm

    <3

  59. March 3, 2012 at 2:17 pm

    Awesome

  60. J.Q.Public
    March 3, 2012 at 2:03 pm

    Nice…any dissenting opinions get filtered out by the admin. Speaks volumes…

    • Sarah
      March 5, 2012 at 7:57 pm

      Apparently not, because we all had to read your ignorant and insensitive comments in your previous post. Get off your high horse.

  61. Jami Dutcher
    March 3, 2012 at 1:57 pm

    Wow this was said so perfectly!!! It is brilliant!!! It should be spread far and wide as a message for all women. I am inspired.

  62. March 3, 2012 at 1:20 pm

    Excellent article. I passed it all around.

  63. March 3, 2012 at 12:08 pm

    So beautifully stated, Jess, but I'm not surprised, because ever since I "met" you while you were still in Iraq, I've always called you AMAZING! And proud to call you a friend.

    I also agree with Arwa, but this recent insanity reminds me more of the 1600s, when outspoken, independent thinking women could be legally drowned by men piling stones on top of them.

  64. Andrea Porubiansky
    March 3, 2012 at 11:51 am

    Thank you!!! Well said. Thank you also for your dedication to protecting our country. You are a great role model. Oh, and I loved your book!!!

  65. J.Q.Public
    March 3, 2012 at 11:49 am

    If you remove all the rhetoric it comes down to who should pay for the birth control…the woman opening her legs, the guy between the open legs, or the government. I do not know who should pay…but I do know who should not pay…the government (aka taxpayers). For the simple reason that it offends a lot of people and their religious beliefs. Though it is clear you do not find it offensive, you should still respect differences of opinion, respect freedom of speech…or lose the uniform…you can't have it both ways.

    • evelyn
      March 3, 2012 at 8:50 pm

      So are you a slut for opening them for your husband? Why should your religious beliefs impinge on my life? I am tired of people telling me what I should do because of their religious beliefs. But f***ing forbid I tell you what you should do because of mine. People who throw religion into the mix do it because they are the most hypocritical, self-righteous, arrogant people I have ever seen. I for one and damned ashamed that people like Jessica, my husband and millions of others have to defend your right to say what they want, believe what they want but are not allowed to do so themselves. Get a life, get off this blog and go play in your own sandbox.

      • J.Q.Public
        March 5, 2012 at 6:30 pm

        Evelyn,

        You can't force people that do not believe in birth control to foot the bill for those that do. I did not call anybody "a slut" as you have implied. You are being dramatic to make up for the lack of substance in your argument. My religious beliefs should not affect you and yours should not affect me. You say you fight for freedom…but you really hate freedom…when the ideas do not align with yours. That's not freedom. You are blind to your own ignorance and hollow patriotism.

    • KathyF
      March 4, 2012 at 1:19 am

      "It offends a lot of people" Uh, no, actually it doesn't. Polls show that 98 percent of women, including Catholics, use birth control. Acceptance of contraceptives is extremely high. And I'd bet my right arm you yourself were in favor of it until your heard your overlords, i.e. GOP presidential candidates, and their cheerleader Rush Limbaugh, come out against it. Suddenly it became an us vs them issue, and since they seemed to be getting away with asserting these unpopular opinions, you decided to insult a courageous woman and misrepresenting her opinion. She's not trying to have anything both ways. You, however, are trying to impose your so-called religious beliefs (show me the place in the bible or whatever religious text you hold sacred–where it tells women to abstain from birth control) on others. And by the way, the policies Sandra Fluke was arguing for had nothing to do with government paying for birth control–thank goodness. It's about insurance paying for birth control, something the insurance companies are happy to do since it prevents even higher costs (not just associated with pregnancy, as Fluke pointed out, when her friend developed ovarian cysts). Get your facts straight, and talk to people outside your ditto-head circle. You might find you actually don't live in a Taliban controlled society where women are subjugated as in your fantasies.

    • Maggy
      March 4, 2012 at 5:52 am

      This whole thing is about private/group health INSURANCEcovering contraceptives which are a basic part of most womens health care during their reproductive years, before and after. It has NOTHING to do with religion. YOU are not paying, the insurance company is. If you don't want the pill, dont take it. But don't make it impossible for those that need/want it.

      • J.Q.Public
        March 5, 2012 at 6:33 pm

        Maggy,

        The insurance company will pass the cost along to ALL subscribers…religious, non-religious…all of em.

    • Sarah
      March 5, 2012 at 7:55 pm

      J.Q., Who the HELL are you to tell Jessica – a wife, mother, and a woman who has served her country – that she is not deserving of the healthcare services she receives from the government for protecting YOUR freedom? The First Amendment is about freedom of, and freedom FROM, religion, and your religious preferences give you no right to dictate, based on YOUR moral convictions, the healthcare that our government provides its honorable men and women serving our country. Do you truly believe, as an American, that a woman who has served her country in the Armed Forces is not worthy of the healthcare provided through OUR tax dollars? Personally, I am PROUD that my tax dollars go toward preserving and protecting the health of those who preserve and protect us every day. Shame on you and your selective morality.

    • Sarah O
      March 6, 2012 at 12:17 pm

      The issue is not personal responsibility – it's that it is BAD public policy for insurance companies to be able to pick and choose what they do and do not cover. Birth Control is essentially a hormone treatment that has genuine medical uses beyond preventing pregnancy. I'm sure insurance companies would love to get out of paying for as much medical coverage as possible.

  66. March 3, 2012 at 11:47 am

    First, thank you for your service. That was an excellent article.

  67. Laith
    March 3, 2012 at 11:39 am

    Hero. Responsible. Those are much better. Wonderful post.

  68. Gail Hart
    March 3, 2012 at 11:32 am

    Brava! Personally I’ll call you an amazing writer.

  69. March 3, 2012 at 11:24 am

    Brilliant! Thank you so much for taking the time to write this. Here’s to hoping it becomes viral – I’ll do my part. Everyone needs to read this.

  70. March 3, 2012 at 11:08 am

    This what every woman should feel.

  71. March 3, 2012 at 11:03 am

    Wonerful and eloquent. Thank you.

  72. Elias
    March 3, 2012 at 10:21 am

    Jessica, Thank you for your service to our country and for writing such a passionate manifesto of freedom for women everywhere!

    Your husband is very blessed to have such a strong wife, and your daughters incredibly blessed to have a Mom who cares about them achieving their full potential. And your team in the Army is lucky to have a such a strong, responsible solider. The views of an old, angry man who lives in a repressive, mean little world of their own have forgotten what it means to live in the present. Thank goodness because of people like you, they are not the real America, you are!

  73. Pat F.
    March 3, 2012 at 9:33 am

    Jessica, so very well said!!!! It infuriates me that the courageous woman in our country are called ugly names, because they want to stop politicians from ruling over there health care needs. I am a Catholic, lapsed for just that reason. I have two grown children, and have used birth control for years. We need to love and cherish our children, if you don' t want children that is totally your right also, and you need to have a safe affordable way to make that happen.
    Thank you for your service to our country at great cost to your family, thank you for the wonderful book you have written, and will continue to write (I hope). Most of all, thank you for using your blog to set the records straight about women's need for health care without being labeled a slut. I would like to think of you as a friend, because I thin

  74. Katie Reus
    March 3, 2012 at 9:25 am

    Thank you for such a powerful post. Well said!

  75. Kate
    March 3, 2012 at 8:58 am

    Well said, but I'd like to add… even if you WERE a slut, whatever that word means, you'd still be entitled to birth control!

  76. Pat F.
    March 3, 2012 at 8:56 am

    Jessica, so very well said!!!! It infuriates me that the courageous woman in our country are called ugly names, because they want to stop politicians from ruling over there health care needs. I am a Catholic, lapsed for just that reason. I have two grown children, and have used birth control for years. We need to love and cherish our children, if you don' t want children that is totally your right also, and you need to have a safe affordable way to make that happen.
    Thank you for your service to our country at great cost to your family, thank you for the wonderful book you have written, and will continue to write (I hope). Most of all, thank you for using your blog to set the records straight about women's need for health care without being labeled a slut. I would like to think of you as a friend, because I think you would be an amazing one. For the record, I guess I'm a slut too.

  77. Barbara
    March 3, 2012 at 8:48 am

    Do not ever feel bad about birth control. As a military wife I to took birth control paid by the government. My husband and I decided when we wanted a child and also decided that he would be an only child. Our reasons were our own ( my husband has 12 siblings and lived on left overs and handmidowns) we wanted to give to our son what my husband never had. Yes there was love in his family by both parents but the did not have one on one time. As for me it was the issue of when he would be deployed and where and did I want to go through it by myself and be a single parent until he returned. My biggest problem with non military people was always why not have more children there free your in the military. I just wanted to say hey dumb ass children are not free, yes I had a hospital bill not much $26.30 but my husband also was in Iraq for 2 years so it was like compansation pay. But free I don't think so. I still have to buy my growing weed of a son clothes and food and I think his collage would turn him out if they did not get there check, so free are they nuts. The. On military people need to spend one day as a spouse of a military person and see what we have to go through everyday, it is not a 9-5 job and weekends off. We live with the feat everyday if or when the next deployment is going to happen. So I say screw anyone that feels it is there good given right to bemoan those who are on birth control from the military. And those who are civilians and have more children the. You can afford just remember you only get to claim them once year on your taxes and you are the one that complains they are sucking all your money you earn.

  78. J.M.
    March 3, 2012 at 8:36 am

    Great post!

    But please…..disregard raving lunatics like Rush-to-Judgement Lameass. He and many others are totally disconnected from reality, and they are quite adept at showing their idiocy and ignorance, all by themselves. They are to be pitied – other than that, not one breath or brain cell should be wasted on them. Ever.

  79. kimbervale
    March 3, 2012 at 8:30 am

    Bravo! Oh, the irony that our country wants your daily innumerable sacrifices, but-off-the-charts right wingers would have you be celibate as well. In a perfect world, all of the men calling for gov't controlled birth control would never get laid again. Tell them I hate them. And to think that insurance still covers non-consensual, medically unnecessary genital mutilation in the form of circumcision. But I won't open that can of worms. God must be in favor of it. Suffer the little children!

    P.S. Even sluts have the right to control their own bodies.

  80. March 3, 2012 at 8:18 am

    First, I thank you for your service to our country. Most of the crazies who are trying to bring Taliban-like restrictions to women's rights haven't. Second, I grew up when there were no good birth control options for women and when abortions were illegal. There were also very limited career options, to include military career options, for women — and for blacks, Latinos, Jews, and many other minorities. We fought hard for an America in which all are created equal and have equal opportunities, and an important part of that fight was for women's reproductive freedoms. Finally, I'm so sorry that your generation of women, my younger friends/family/colleagues, who are going to have to fight and win this retro-battle for civil rights one more time. I'm ashamed at the GOP, which should stand for conservative principles of government instead of having sold its collective soul to those who would rob us of the very civil rights for which so many have fought and died.

  81. John Kenworthy
    March 3, 2012 at 8:12 am

    I call you a hero. And an exceedingly eloquent one at that.

  82. Proud of you
    March 3, 2012 at 7:55 am

    Superb!

  83. March 3, 2012 at 7:30 am

    I’m going to call you a great, well spoken, wonderful, Woman. Thank you.

    Heather

  84. Kel
    March 3, 2012 at 7:09 am

    The slurs that people use tell us more about them than the people they are referring to. Anyone who calls you a slut is stupidly displaying their own inadequacies in public.

    Or they want to have sex with you and know they can't. That seemed to be the defining definition in high school and I've noticed a lot of political types seem pretty stuck there.

    • Jennifer R. Ewing
      March 3, 2012 at 10:31 pm

      I'm reminded of the joke "What's the difference between a slut and a bitch? A slut sleeps with everyone, a bitch sleeps with everyone but you."

  85. Stephanie Queen
    March 3, 2012 at 6:52 am

    Well said. I'll call you a passionate writer.

  86. Mara miller
    March 3, 2012 at 5:00 am

    beautifully said, thank you.
    I would call you amazing1

  87. March 3, 2012 at 1:24 am

    Wow! This is one sincere, eloquent, and insightful article from one wife and mother to another. Thank you!!!

    I must add that it is quite unfortunate that in 2012 our political discourse is looking more like the 18th Century or maybe even worse. Just sad!

    Much Respect!!!

  88. March 3, 2012 at 1:23 am

    Wonderful, Jessica. Thanks for sharing some of the many reasons why women choose contraception. Birth control for women is more than just about preventing pregnancy. It's about enabling them to follow their dreams and live the lives they believe they were meant to live. I, too, have been sickened by the rhetoric. Old men telling young women how to live their lives — how absurd! I am not a uterus. I am a human being with a mind and a heart and a soul. I don't want to limit my life experiences to raising children. I love my kids, but two was enough for me. I have other plans. My pursuit of happiness is tied to my ability to live a full life — and that means using contraception.

  89. Chelsea
    March 3, 2012 at 1:17 am

    You are an amazing woman and I could not agree with you more. I want to thank you for your service and your daughters are lucky to have a mom like you, my parents always supported me and told me I was intelligent and I was capable of doing anything I put my mind to. They also told me the importance of having control over my own body and my reproductive rights and choosing when when to have children. I am grateful they instilled those values in me because now I know no one else can control my body or tell me what to do with my body and when people begin to try to deny me the rights to my body to fight back and stand up for what I believe in. So now I advocate for women’s rights and your post caught my attention and I want to say I support you one hundred percent and I am standing in solidarity with you. Thank you.

  90. Nancy
    March 3, 2012 at 1:12 am

    I applaud you being a mother. I applaud you being a soldier and I applaud you for being responsible in both roles. Your daughters are very lucky to have parents who will instill values of the utmost importance, those being that you can be all things and be proud of what you choose including when to have children and when not to have children. I only wish there were more level headed women like you. Thank you!

  91. March 3, 2012 at 12:35 am

    Thank you for putting this out there. You summed up what I couldn’t put into words!!

  92. Keziah Hill
    March 2, 2012 at 11:35 pm

    Excellent post! (pumps fist!)

  93. March 2, 2012 at 11:23 pm

    Thank you for this post.

  94. Janet
    March 2, 2012 at 11:13 pm

    Don't hold back, Jessica…tell us how you really feel!

    But seriously, I agree with you 100%. I used birth control for all the same reasons, and being a military woman I was also called a lot of unsavory things.

  95. sonomalass
    March 2, 2012 at 11:10 pm

    Thanks for saying it so well. You are a strong woman, a title you can claim with pride.

    • Cassi
      March 6, 2012 at 5:50 pm

      Bravo!!! And thank you for keeping our country safe.

  96. evelyn
    March 2, 2012 at 10:58 pm

    Once upon a time, our church priest told my parents that it didn't matter that the dr said she shouldn't get pregnant again (she had had a couple of miscarriages after my brother), she couldn't as a good catholic, use birth control. They went to Planned Parenthood and she had her tubes tied. Yay, same thing, but there wasn't going to be any accidents if they could help it.

    I am tired of politicians trying to shove whatever their religious beliefs are, down my throat.

    • Lisa
      March 9, 2012 at 10:00 am

      Actually, I think they are trying to shove their beliefs up your uterus.

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